"I want to be a swinger!"

I've been getting fairly frequent messages on my MySpace account from people who are interested in the lifestyle, but have no idea where to start. So, here are a few tips and personal observations about swinging for those of you who are interested:

1. Ask Your Mate - Swingers most often enjoy the lifestyle as part of a couple, however there are single males and females in the lifestyle. If you are part of a couple, please, make sure you tell your significant other ("S.O.") that you are interested before you start doing research! Other than reading this fun and informative blog of course! hah! If I have inspired you in any way, it doesn't count! You must be able to be open and honest with your S.O. about your desires and must respect theirs or this will never work. Swinging is not a relationship fixer and it will do more harm that good if you're not at a good place in your relationship! Please keep that in mind! Anyone who tries to tell you that swingers are all men who coerce their wives into swapping is full of crap! I've seen couples where one party isn't as into it as the other and that sends off a big red light, so they won't end up getting any anyway!
   
2. Dating Sites for Swingers - Ok, so you're single or your S.O. is interested too. Great! You have many options! First, there are many websites out there that cater to swingers just like dating sites. The easiest way to find them are to Google "(insert your city/state/province here) swingers". There are a lot of pay sites out there, but if you look hard enough, you will also find free sites (these sites are most often hosted by swingers clubs which I will get to soon). If you're willing to pay, make sure you search enough and make sure that there isn't only one other couple in your town on the site. Just to add for the single folks, single men are generally less accepted on these sites with the odd exception (single females, however, are rare and treasured!), but don't give up boys, there are many couples out there who are looking for a straight or bi boy toy to add to their fun!
3. Rules for Swinging Sites and Chats - You found a site you like and you've joined up. There's a cute couple you're interested in. Now what? Send them a quick e-mail to tell them you're interested. If you've ever been on a regular dating site, it's not much different really! Check to see if they're looking for the same things you are (intercourse or no intercourse, female bisexuality, male bisexuality, fetishes, etc.). Some people will state specifically what they will not do, so if you insist on doing that thing (or vice versa), don't waste any time and move on. The general rule is if someone says "no thanks" you leave it at that. Do not ask why! Do you really want to know anyway? The same goes if there is no reply back. Sure, it might seem rude sometimes, but sometimes couples need to decide together and it doesn't always happen right away and sometimes it just gets set aside and forgotten about. It's not the end of the world and so you move on to the next cute couple and try again! For chat rooms, you should ask if you can private message someone before doing so. Some sites stress this more than others, but it's usually the polite thing to do if you're not used to the atmosphere. If you don't know where to go from here, ask the people you're chatting with! Swingers are usually friendly and helpful and they were new once too. Hopefully someone will be more than happy to get you started. *wink wink*
4. Swingers Clubs and House Parties - Again, go to your trusty old Google and type "(insert your city/state/province here) swingers clubs". You'd be surprised at what goes on at the club down the street on Saturday nights! Larger cities will usually have more options than smaller, rural areas, so if you're out in the middle of nowhere, you may have to travel or stick with the swinger sites to meet people. On premise clubs have areas where you can have sex in the club, while off premise, no sex or oral sex is allowed (but it can still get awfully hot!). Some people also host parties (think 70s style orgies!) in their homes for a fee. Clubs and parties are a great way to get to know people and you can always meet people online at a place like this if you're not comfortable getting together in public. It's also a great way to find out what the lifestyle is actually like without having the pressure of meeting a couple. Usually, you have to e-mail the club to find out their location and you can then find out the price of entry/membership prices. They can be fairly expensive if you go often enough (in my area the average is about $30/couple each time you go and drinks are regular bar prices, but you also get a midnight buffet, so in the end it's not too bad). By going to a club, you can remain off in the shadows to enjoy all the fun that goes on until you're ready to join in. As much as people are all over each other and it looks like a free for all, (unless they say it is a free for all) don't join in the touching unless you're invited or you get permission. Easy enough!
5. Resorts - There are a number of resorts out there that cater to swingers. There are the Hedonism resorts and the Desire resort. The Hedonism resorts allow singles and couples and you can do whatever you want anywhere on the resort. If you're not into single males or are not into watching everyone else, this might not be the best option for you. Apparently they hang out in packs and make a huge audience if you're busy with other people. Desire resort on the other hand, allows couples only and any kind of sexual activity must stay in the rooms. I'm sure there's still a lot of fun going on outside the rooms, but probably not as fun for voyeurs if that's what you're into! You can book these resorts through any travel agent like any other all inclusive, but they do tend to be a bit pricier. This is a good option for people who want just want an extra hot vacation and to dip their feet in the lifestyle water, so to speak!

I think that about covers the basics! Like I said before, swingers are helpful and friendly people so don't be too shy to ask them questions that might seem to personal. You have to be able to communicate and let your desires and boundaries known to everyone involved so everyone can have a fun and relaxed experience! Have fun and be safe!!